Bucket Bailing

Pie de la cuesta 2005

I remember being in the ocean. Swimming into shore; trying to get out just perfectly so that I wouldn’t get pounded by a wave. I took my time calculating the breathing in and out of the waves and got out in time to avoid eating sand.

Northern Ireland 2007

I was waiting until the sea’s tide was at its lowest point so that I could run across a retaining wall to get from a picturesque island back to the mainland. All was fine as I made my way back as quickly as I could when out of no where a wave came throwing me against some rocks a few feet from my safety.

Coffee shop today 2010

Excited about the day, surrounded by the smell of coffee, good atmosphere, and people. It came all at once;

Almost like the rain came yesterday when I was on my jog;

Or like a blanket that I can’t shrug off my shoulders.

It’s staring me in the face,

demanding all of my attention;

threatening to stay here all day.

Now I’m trying to somehow fill these empty spaces in a frenzy like that of someone who is bucket bailing their sinking ship.

As quickly as this fog came, these words came… not screaming.

They were so quiet that I almost missed them.

“Be still and know that I am God.”

“I will never leave you.”

Then I looked again and I heard voices of thousands and millions of angels around the throne and they sang in a mighty chorus:

“Worthy is the Lamb who was slaughtered-to receive power and riches and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and blessing.”

I don’t feel so lonely anymore.

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