Well it doesn’t seem to be very often that I am in a church where music is being played where I have the delight of sitting in a seat and just soaking in all that is going on around me. This morning was one of those rare times. I walked away refreshed and thankful. Although the sermon focused on Romans chapter my notes had little to say about what was actually being said. I was more affected by the people around me as we took communion together and yet so separate from one another. I grew up taking communion the same way we shared it this morning;
Solemn music, a small cracker, the tiniest cup of grape juice you’ll ever find, heads bowed, hands folded, personal reflection and prayer… I found that although this was corporate communion, and all about us joining together in celebration of Jesus, that I couldn’t have felt more individual. I walked away from the service never connecting with anyone and it made me excited for the time and day where we have true fellowship and true communion with one another and with Christ. It made me wonder how we can begin to focus more on “we” and not ” I ” and more on the “Kingdom of God” rather than my personal worship experience. I really don’t have any answers but I do know that it was huge on the heart of God that we would have fellowship and unity with HImself and one another. Almost the entire chapter of John 17 He is praying for this very thing. Right now I’m in a most humbling position in life. Truly having to rely on Him and others for some usually small details in life. Being an American , this hurts my pride; a 25-year-old should be caring for oneself and have much of life figured out. Here I am wondering how life will come together and not quite sure of most things. In a strange sort of way I have so much peace in the midst of unrest truly knowing that this life is so much more than about my comfort and pride. There is so much joy in living life with others the pain , the joy, the companionship, the leaning on one another, the love I receive from others, the patience that I am given. And there is such a peace as I rest in my God. He knows when a sparrow falls, he knows the family in Africa dying of aids, and He knows my concerns and needs on even the smallest level.
Oh God, give us hearts that beat like yours. Break our hearts over the things that You weep over. And thank you that You give us heaps of grace to bring us through every season in this life.
With all my love and praying for you my friends,