I’ve heard about it my entire life. I’ve heard that I should run away from it. That God only tells us no to protect us. I’ve heard that sin is directly telling God that I am smarter than He is. I’ve heard that it can weigh heavy on the soul even to bring one physical pain. I guess I’ve always seen sin from a distance, something to be afraid of. Something that I don’t even want to talk about in jest because of the damage it can cause. I remember when a girl told me that she had slept with someone and how terrible she felt. She was the first person I had ever encountered who had had sex apart from Marriage. And I remember how sad her eyes were. I remember that it took all of my energy not to drop my jaw or communicate shock. I remember that the spirit of God reminded me not to be surprised by sin, rather to hate that it made her eyes sad. I remember when I used to think that only some evil men struggled with pornography. I’ve now wept for my friends who have been sucked into it. I remember someone told me that I should be so careful because Satan never lures us with an ugly sin. He usually makes something look so pretty and then when he’s got us, turns around and rips us to shreds.

What happens when everything within my being screams for something which God’s word has clearly told me to avoid? Am I too ashamed to admit the struggle to someone who I can trust? What am I to do when I’ve realized that my choice was poor. How can I move to joy instead of sorrow? What was it that Peter knew? He denied his Savior outwardly 3 times. And Jesus knew. We all know what he did. Everyone who he spent time must have known. What was it that allowed Peter to live a life of victory in Christ and ministry, instead of guilt and defeat? I wonder if Jesus looked Peter in the eyes when He was on the cross and communicated to Peter that the death was for him? I wonder if Jesus gave Peter an embrace after He rose again? Peter was one of the first men to the tomb after Jesus rose again.

The sin that I see in this world seems to get uglier to me. Almost slimy, sticky, greasy. I hate it. I hate the effects that it has on my friends. I hate how I long for it at times. I hate that so many are in bondage to it. I hate that Satan is the accuser and that it is a battle to remember that Jesus died for sin. I hate that at one moment I can be leading a group of people in worship and then the next moment I can pout because I haven’t received enough recognition.

God has come to redeem our souls to heaven and for eternity, but He has also bought us as His own for now. He is a God who knows the sin we are capable of. He is not surprised when I choose sin above Him. Does His heart break? Do you remember the passage in one of the gospels where Jesus is approaching a city and He weeps because the people don’t understand what He is about to do for them? Oh if only I could grasp His love. If only I could hold tightly to Him. My understanding is that God would be happy with the Pharisee who had all the outward duties in order. But really It meant more to God when the sinner beat his chest and said. “ Have mercy on me a sinner.” O God help me! Help us! Show me more of your love. I want to understand that which Peter understood. I want to have a light on my face because I’ve known your incredible grace in my life. Help me to resist temptation. Help me to lean on you when I mess up. Help us as Christians love one another more and be honest more. And look to you more and count our trophies less. We are weak. But you are strong.

1 Corinthians 15:55-56
O death where is your victory
O death where is your sting?

The sting of death is sin
And power of sin is the law
But thanks be to God
Who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.