Loneliness

Sometimes I am hit with an intense loneliness. It seems that in those moments everyone that I am surrounded by somehow has closer relationships with others than I have.So I could be surrounded by many people and still have the ache.

Growing up my mom was the only one to recognize when I would feel this way. And she reminded me that God has given others to share in life and struggle and that I should go to her or someone when I’m lonely. Only every time I tried this, I still felt a lacking. I have found that who I am longing for is Christ. And just as those who are in love with each other cannot get close enough to one another… I feel with Christ. And most of the time I don’t know how to get close to Him, and sometimes I ignore the ache and go shopping or spend extra time emailing. The words that have brought me comfort and hope recently in this area are “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart and I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord.”

I am encouraged by older people who have walked with God for years. There are some who still have His joy on their faces. And you know it’s not because they’ve been trying to be good for these years. You know that they have encountered God. They have sat at His feet and continued through some years of silence and been blessed with sensing His presence at times. I hear and know that nothing compares to knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. They really have seen it, and believe it!

Sometimes I get impatient because I want to be filled and at peace and no longer feel lonely. But God doesn’t always work on my time. Have you noticed how many times the bible talks about waiting on God? And so instead of ignoring the intense longing in my heart, or covering it up by being only half satisfied with things like music or great people or money, I so badly want to learn the art of waiting on God; Of resting content knowing that He will come through. For He is God and I don’t always understand His ways but I know that He loves me, and He’s been around a lot longer than I have.

Give Me Jesus
In the morning when I rise
In the morning when I rise
In the morning when I rise
Give Me Jesus

And when I am alone
Oh when I am alone
When I am alone
Give Me Jesus

GIve me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus